Pebbles along the Path

In the story of Hansel and Gretel, when they finally get smart about finding their way back home, they leave pebbles on the ground to mark the way back, instead of breadcrumbs that the birds ate up. Then as they get out of the forest, they pick up the pebbles to find their way out.

Today I talked on the phone with a very interesting mediator based in Berlin. He was fun. 100% passionate about his work, had some great philosophy about how to make things happen, and generally was just very sharp. As I listened to him talk, I recognized my own goals and motivations in his tempered idealism. He wasn't tons of help, though he offered to put me in touch with another mediator in Norway (hey, couldn't hurt, might help, is my rule of thumb). But simply hearing his passion for mediating, for people, for ethical peacemaking and realistically working through things from start to finish was inspiring. He's doing what I want to do. He's wired like I'm wired. "It's not a job, it's a lifestyle," he said with conviction. He believes in mediation the way I do: that if you know your tools, you can help people achieve breakthroughs that otherwise might be impossible.

One of the most interesting comments he made came at the end of the conversation. He said, "You know, mediation has changed my life. I used to be so hot-tempered, and people still have to tell me to calm down sometimes. But this has given me the tools to solve problems and learn how to communicate effectively."

What that tells me is that we don't have to be perfect communicators to get into this stuff. mediators are no better than anybody else anyway. We just have to have a commitment to people, to learning and to an ethical standard. And then it's just a lifelong growth process, which is great fun and makes us all simply human alongside everyone we work with.

I hung up knowing that I was following the right path, picking up the little pebble-clues along the way. It's going to be okay. It's just going to take some time, and a whole lotta Providence.